What a moron

Janet Lee, a collage freshman, is suing the Philly police department after spending 3 weeks locked up in their jail. What did she do? She was found boarding a flight from Philly to LA with condoms full of a white substance in her luggage. The police field test said the power was cocaine.

Turns out it was flour. A follow up lab test proved it, so charges were dropped and she was released.

She claims that whole "flour packed condoms" in her luggage was a practical joke that her college dorm mates came up with as an exam stress releiver. She claims she was going to squeeze them to relieve stress.

Well Janet. That was really, really stupid. Almost as stupid as what you are doing now... suing the police in federal court for pain and suffering, financial loss and emotional distress.

I really it hope this goes to trial and you get your ass handed to you on a platter.

The Grocery Game

I read about a good idea to help families safe money by reducing their grocery bills. The Grocery Game is a website that matches coupons and deals against what you need to buy.

It is subscription based. You can get a trial subscroption for $1 and try it out. It should more than pay for itself on the first trip.

I wished this service had existed back when I was married and trying to get my wife to keep the grocery expenses at or under budget. I can see where this service would be very handy for families with multiple mouths to feed.

Starbucks... on the cheap

Frappuccino	Doubleshot

I have to confess that one of my vices is Starbucks Frappuccinos. I can drink those like water. However, I am also a cheap bastard. The manager of the local Starbucks taught me a little trick that allows me to get my daily Frap and caffeine fix for cheap.

What I do is buy a Frap in the bottle for $1.25. It contains 9.5 ounces of the stuff. Then I buy the 6.5oz can of Starbucks Doubleshot. Then I get a cup of ice, which is free.

Back at work, I pour 1/3 of the Frappuccino with 1/3 of the Doubleshot into the cup of ice. That give you a nice full drink. Later in the day I do it again with one 1/3 more, and then the last third in the afternoon.

So I get Starbucks quality caffeine fix, my favorite drink, and get to stay awake for less than $3 a day!

My Starbucks Theory

I have a theory as to how Starbucks manages to be everywhere. I've floated the idea to friends of mine, and they look at me like I am insane. I would love to hear your feedback.

I think that Starbucks gets sweet real estate deals. I think they pay from nothing to a heavily discounted price for the leases on their stores. That is how they are able to afford to install so many stores in so many prime locations, and still be able to be profitable without having to franchise.

I figured this out back in 2001 when I was working in Culver City. Off the I-405, there was a new high-end shopping mall being built called the Howard Hughes Center. The first shop to open at the mall was Starbucks, and they did well selling coffees to the construction workers finishing up the rest of the mall.

Besides opening 6 months before the rest of the mall stores were open, the Starbucks store also grabbed the best spot in the mall... front and center at the main entrance.

I was thinking about how they managed to do this, and it dawned on me that the answer was simple. The developer give it to them.

So why would a developer and/or a retail property owner decide to give away their premium location for a coffee shop? Why would they not try to get as much money as possible from every square foot of space they own? Isn't that what capitalism is all about? Efficiency?

The answer is simple. They need Starbucks more than Starbucks needs them. They want the cach'e of a recognized and respected coffee chain to draw paying customers to the rest of their property, which in turns allows them to market their property to other merchants.

This is not a new idea. It is called a "Loss Leader". Large store chains do this all the time. Grocery store chains and Best Buy has made an art of it. The merchant selects an item to sell at cost, or even less than cost (a loss), in order to get customers in the door. They hope to make up for the loss by being able to entice the customer to buy other items while there.

So why can't the idea of a Loss Leader also be applied to retail real estate? If I owned a shopping center, I would be thrilled to have a Starbucks in my center. It gives the center respectability, and makes my center a "destination" for people to relax and shop. They will hang around a little while longer, which give the other stores an opportunity to sell. It increases the frequency of customer visits as they stop by for their daily coffee fix.

The key to this success, and the reason Starbucks has never franchised, is consistancy. They took McDonald's main idea, consistant product and brand recognition, and applied it to high-end coffee. Customers, and property owners, are comfortable with Starbucks. People know what they are getting.

If this is true, then I have to congratulate Starbucks for their genius. Can you image back in 1985 if you put this idea on paper as your thesis for your MBA? Yes Professor... I am proposing that I open a chain a coffee stores in the best spots all over the country that sells coffee at $4 a cup and doesn't have to pay rent. They would have flunked you!

My 7x7

Bookworm tagged me. Damn it! Here is my 7X7... or at least the start of it. I will need a couple of days to think about some of these items.

1. Seven things to do before I die
2. Seven things I cannot do
3. Seven things that attract me to (...)
4. Seven things I say most often
5. Seven books (or series) that I love
6. Seven movies I watch over and over again (or would if I had time)
7. Seven people I want to join in, too.

Seven things to do before I die

• Visit the Antartic and step foot on the actual continent... not just ice.
• Visit Machi Picchu.
• Get a tattoo.
• Drop acid.
• Sail around Cape Horn and Tierra del Fuego islands.
  

Seven things I cannot do

• Cook!
• Become the principal staff photographer for Playboy (they keep rejecting my resume!).
  
• Get a tattoo.
• Raise a plant.
• Save money.
• Tell my dad how much I appreciate all he did for me, and for everyone.
  

Seven things that attract me to (...)

my ex-wife Claire:

• Her dark and wicked sense of humor.
• Her love of books.
• That fact that she understood me, or at least better than anyone ever has.
• Her love of misfits and animals.
• Her beautiful, soft, long, chestnut hair.
• Her voice and speech... so clear and perfect and articulate.
• How she should curl up next to me and let me stoke her hair while we watched movies on TV.
  

Seven things I say most often

• "I've never felt better since I've given up hope"
• "Lets go get a coffee"
• "Let me tell you how I feel about....(whatever the subject)"
• "Is dinner ready yet?

Seven books (or series) that I love

• You Got Nothing Coming
• Fear & Lothing in Las Vegas
  
• Less Than Zero
• Calvin & Hobbes
• 2001: A Space Odyssey
• Gispy Moth Circles The World
  

Seven movies I watch over and over again (or would if I had time)

• Das Boot (original in German with subtitles)
  
• Fightclub
• Dumb & Dumber
• How To Get Ahead In Advertisting
• Dr. Strangelove
  

Seven people I want to join in, too.

• My brother Tom
• Egyptian SandMonkey
• The Religious Policeman